Patrons are advised
that lighting in this establishment
is intentionally flattering.
Features may appear softer,
eyes brighter, futures more plausible.
Under these conditions
customers frequently report
sudden certainty, immediate chemistry,
and thoughts of long-term happiness.
On certain evenings
two strangers may find themselves
walking home together,
unlocking unfamiliar doors,
and mistaking good lighting for love.
This may lead to—
An intimate encounter.
Please note:
Results may alter significantly
in morning light.
Hope may be replaced by doubt,
desire by nausea.
Management accepts no responsibility
for revelations occurring
in bathrooms, mirrors, or daylight.
If disappointment arises,
it should be assumed
that both parties were equally
well lit.
